Where has the time gone?
I honestly do not even know where to begin. I have a million thoughts I just want to spill out but they are so jumbled up in my brain that I...just don't know where to begin!
If I had to describe the last 2 months in a few words I'd have to say: UNBELIEVABLY WONDERFUL YET UNBELIEVABLY DIFFICULT.
I had no idea what having Nugget would be like. I knew it would be hard (or so everyone said), I just had no freaking idea.
My daughter is so amazing; now I know all mommys think their children are the cutest in the world - but truly, mine is. She is so adorable. She is beyond cute. She is a gerber baby.
I will try to hilight the last few months in a nice and concise post, but it's gonna be hard. I need to be better at posting regularly.
Nugget was a breast fed baby - initially. She wanted to nurse 24x7, even as a teeny weeny newborn. She needed booby constantly. And I mean constantly. Norman couldn't hold her. I could barely even pull her off long enough for a trip to the potty, much less a shower. She wasn't sleeping either. So neither were we...we couldn't leave the house, I couldn't eat, I couldn't do anything. She as on my breast constantly. No breaks. I would pull her off and she'd scream her head off. I can't even begin to explain it. She wouldn't take a pacifier either. This went on for a full 5 weeks. I was so concerned that she wasn't getting enough to eat. But she was because she was gaining weight, albeit very slowly. And I honestly do not have a clue how she was gaining weight because she was spiting up EVERYTHING she ate. Nightmarish. She was like the girl from The Exorcist. Anyhow, It got to the point where I had to start supplementing with formula because I just simply could not keep up. I cried the day I gave her her first bottle. I truly never imagined I would ever feed my baby formula. But her doctor told me to not be a hero and I was so thankful she was so supportive. She is the best doctor ever.
The spit up and colic (did I not mention she had colic? She had her first colic episode on our last night at the hospital) got so bad that we took her to the ER when she was a mere 9 days old. Her daddy and I cried like babies that entire night. The brutality. They gave her a catheter, drew blood from her tiny veins and kept a port in - just in case they needed more blood later, took X-rays, an ultrasound...only to tell us she has severe infant GERD. They gave us Zantac and sent us on our way.
The long and short of it is that the breastfeeding was getting us nowhere. She was tossing everything - projectile vomiting, and I was desperate to find food that my baby could tolerate since my boobies weren't cutting it. The doctor recommended a hypoallergenic formula and so we tried it when she was 5 weeks old. It smelled gross but seemed to do the trick...for a while. She then started getting sick again and the colic was a nightmare. I switched to fancy shmancy bottles and the doctor took her off the Zantac (since it seemed to make her worse) and put her on Prevacid. She hated the Prevacid. She hated the formula. She hated my boobie milk. She hated EVERYTHING. She was sooooo cranky. She never smiled, she was always mean mugging Norman and me. I was so sad, I would DREAD feeding time. I would dread it every second of the day. I would feed her, she would throw it all up, cry, scream, fuss, arch her back, scream, cry, scream, etc, etc, right up until the next feeding. She would never sleep because she was always hungry. Oh my God I can hardly write this. It's making my blood curl just remembering those God awful days.
Once I officially decided to stop breastfeeding her (the guilt was awful - especially since everywhere I searched online would practically degrade women for not breastfeeding. Norman spent a good 2 weeks trying to get me to stop thinking about the panel of faceless judges I swore were taking notes on how bad of a mother I was), we decided to get her off the expensive hypoallergenic stuff and find something that actually worked. We tried EVERYTHING. At the end of the day the only thing she could tolerate was the cheapest formula on the market with no added DHA or ARA. Go figure.
Her GERD got so much better after that. The doctor prescribed Carafate but we have decided to not give her any medicine at all. Oh, and our sleepless nights of taking turns holding her upright (yes we did that for weeks) ended the day we bought the amazing Amby Baby. I swear by this thing. Google it and take a look. It is amazing. That and the Snuggle Nest we bought to put her to sleep on her belly in bed with us. GERD babies love tummy time and love to be on their bellies. Poor thing. But she is slowly making progress. She has her good and bad days - she still gets reflux but it is considerably less. She is getting silent reflux more now, which is worse apparently because the acids come up and then she will instinctively swallow it back down. She was 11.15 lbs at her 2 month appointment, which brings her up to the 50th percentile, yeah! She is actually sleeping through the night now, she goes to bed at around 11PM and is up just before 6AM for her feeding. Then she wants to party all day long :) Which is of course fine by me since it means she sleeps better at night. Though it is hard since I am trying to work from home and all.
She is happy now. She smiles and loves to be in her crib (even though she doesn't sleep in it) looking at her pretty new mobile. She loves to be out, especially the mall. She's already a fashionista! And she is so sweet. My cousin Allie thinks she is an old soul. And Norman? He is head over heels ga-ga over her. He is so overprotective, it's the sweetest thing ever. His love for her makes me love him more than ever - which I didn't think was possible since I have always loved him so much.
But I have never in my entire life known a love like this. It is so overwhelming. It is so all consuming. Sienna is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She has already taught me so much about myself. She has made me a stronger person, a better person. She is perfection. I look forward to every day with her.
She completes me.