It's 2013...

...and I have 2 insanely amazing and gorgeous baby girls.
Sienna Sofia is going to be 5 in one week and Gabriella Maria will be 2 in three months.
It is so incredibly hard to believe how quickly they have grown.
Here are some pictures of my loves:

3 Years?!

I cannot believe it has been three years since I have posted here!!

So much time gone by, so many updates. Where to even begin?

First and foremost, Sienna is doing wonderfully. My baby turned three on the fourth of July. THREE! I can't believe how quickly time is passing us by. Here is a picture of my Nugget:



And in other fabulous news:



That's right! We are expecting again! I am due in 5 weeks with another precious baby girl.

I will try and provide some updates prior to her birth. In the meantime, here are a few more pictures of Sienna:

STOKKE XPLORY!!!

I am a very happy mommy!

Looky what Norman bought for Sienna and me today!!!!!

The COMPLETE Stokke Xplory!







We are so chic!

Seriously I am loving this new pram.

A proper update to follow soon...

The Things We Learn Along The Way

Baby and Daddy are asleep and I am wide awake so I find myself with some ME TIME!

Our Nugget is doing well even though her GERD is such a royal pain. We feel so bad for her. Honestly there is not much we can do but try and keep her as comfortable as possible and hope she outgrows it soon. She cries a lot because of it and it makes things very complicated - as if having a baby isn't already complicated enough as it is. Almost every feeding is an ordeal and taking her out is usually risky business - though she usually does well out because she tends to sleep the entire time, thus she eats less. At the end of the day, our lives are forever changed and despite the difficulties, I wouldn't have it any other way.

That being said, here are some things I would like to share with you about GERD babies (and I suppose all babies in general), things they don't teach you in your prenatal classes. Trust me, you will thank me later:

1. When preparing formula, warm the water first, THEN add the powder - and for the love of God, anticipate your baby's need to feed. I never realized how loud a 2 month old could shriek

2. Drop Mylicon directly into your baby's bottle to eliminate all foam and bubbles

3. DO NOT burp your GERD baby in between ounces - unless you are wearing a poncho while you feed your little one. Speaking of which, invest in at least 20 really great quality bibs and burp cloths

4. Possibly even more important than keeping your baby upright for 30 minutes after she eats is not moving her much at all after she has started to feed. This means a commitment on your part to not trade her off to your partner, grandma and so on

5. Whoever is feeding the baby rules the universe (Can you get me: the remote, water, make it cooler, turn on the light, turn off the fan...?)

6. Be prepared to do a full load of baby laundry every 4 days

7. Be prepared to explain to people why you put the bib on your baby AFTER she finishes eating

8. Always change your baby before her feedings - even non-GERD babies always spit up during and after being changed, this I find at least minimizes the amount expelled

9. Before you change your baby have her new diaper ready to go - NEVER LEAVE HER PRIVATES EXPOSED!! Otherwise you will have pee/poop all over your hands, face, changing table, changing pad, your pretty changing pad cover, etc.

10. Save your money, as well as time and aggravation - do not buy button-up footsie sleepers. What a nightmare! Middle of the night feedings are difficult to say the least. I can hardly button the 3 buttons of a regular onesie after a 4AM diaper change, let alone the 6-8 buttons of a footsie sleeper. Zipper sleepers are the way to go

11. Carry a few extra onesies and an extra shirt for yourself in your diaper bag

12. As for the diaper bag itself - buy it for function, not looks. Believe me on this one! You want to be able to access your things in a pinch

13. Start your babe on a bedtime routine ASAP. Ours is a warm bath at 9PM followed by a warm bottle while being rocked to sleep by lullabies. Works like a charm

14. Wearable blankets rock

15. So do swaddle blankets

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

16. Accept help! This is the hardest part for me - I know how hard it can be to handle my Nugget because of her GERD. But the truth is, grandma and grandpa are extremely capable to handle her if we need a break

Now take a look at how lucky I am :)

2 Months Old Today!

Where has the time gone?

I honestly do not even know where to begin. I have a million thoughts I just want to spill out but they are so jumbled up in my brain that I...just don't know where to begin!

If I had to describe the last 2 months in a few words I'd have to say: UNBELIEVABLY WONDERFUL YET UNBELIEVABLY DIFFICULT.
I had no idea what having Nugget would be like. I knew it would be hard (or so everyone said), I just had no freaking idea.

My daughter is so amazing; now I know all mommys think their children are the cutest in the world - but truly, mine is. She is so adorable. She is beyond cute. She is a gerber baby.

Behold:







I will try to hilight the last few months in a nice and concise post, but it's gonna be hard. I need to be better at posting regularly.

Nugget was a breast fed baby - initially. She wanted to nurse 24x7, even as a teeny weeny newborn. She needed booby constantly. And I mean constantly. Norman couldn't hold her. I could barely even pull her off long enough for a trip to the potty, much less a shower. She wasn't sleeping either. So neither were we...we couldn't leave the house, I couldn't eat, I couldn't do anything. She as on my breast constantly. No breaks. I would pull her off and she'd scream her head off. I can't even begin to explain it. She wouldn't take a pacifier either. This went on for a full 5 weeks. I was so concerned that she wasn't getting enough to eat. But she was because she was gaining weight, albeit very slowly. And I honestly do not have a clue how she was gaining weight because she was spiting up EVERYTHING she ate. Nightmarish. She was like the girl from The Exorcist. Anyhow, It got to the point where I had to start supplementing with formula because I just simply could not keep up. I cried the day I gave her her first bottle. I truly never imagined I would ever feed my baby formula. But her doctor told me to not be a hero and I was so thankful she was so supportive. She is the best doctor ever.

The spit up and colic (did I not mention she had colic? She had her first colic episode on our last night at the hospital) got so bad that we took her to the ER when she was a mere 9 days old. Her daddy and I cried like babies that entire night. The brutality. They gave her a catheter, drew blood from her tiny veins and kept a port in - just in case they needed more blood later, took X-rays, an ultrasound...only to tell us she has severe infant GERD. They gave us Zantac and sent us on our way.

The long and short of it is that the breastfeeding was getting us nowhere. She was tossing everything - projectile vomiting, and I was desperate to find food that my baby could tolerate since my boobies weren't cutting it. The doctor recommended a hypoallergenic formula and so we tried it when she was 5 weeks old. It smelled gross but seemed to do the trick...for a while. She then started getting sick again and the colic was a nightmare. I switched to fancy shmancy bottles and the doctor took her off the Zantac (since it seemed to make her worse) and put her on Prevacid. She hated the Prevacid. She hated the formula. She hated my boobie milk. She hated EVERYTHING. She was sooooo cranky. She never smiled, she was always mean mugging Norman and me. I was so sad, I would DREAD feeding time. I would dread it every second of the day. I would feed her, she would throw it all up, cry, scream, fuss, arch her back, scream, cry, scream, etc, etc, right up until the next feeding. She would never sleep because she was always hungry. Oh my God I can hardly write this. It's making my blood curl just remembering those God awful days.

Once I officially decided to stop breastfeeding her (the guilt was awful - especially since everywhere I searched online would practically degrade women for not breastfeeding. Norman spent a good 2 weeks trying to get me to stop thinking about the panel of faceless judges I swore were taking notes on how bad of a mother I was), we decided to get her off the expensive hypoallergenic stuff and find something that actually worked. We tried EVERYTHING. At the end of the day the only thing she could tolerate was the cheapest formula on the market with no added DHA or ARA. Go figure.

Her GERD got so much better after that. The doctor prescribed Carafate but we have decided to not give her any medicine at all. Oh, and our sleepless nights of taking turns holding her upright (yes we did that for weeks) ended the day we bought the amazing Amby Baby. I swear by this thing. Google it and take a look. It is amazing. That and the Snuggle Nest we bought to put her to sleep on her belly in bed with us. GERD babies love tummy time and love to be on their bellies. Poor thing. But she is slowly making progress. She has her good and bad days - she still gets reflux but it is considerably less. She is getting silent reflux more now, which is worse apparently because the acids come up and then she will instinctively swallow it back down. She was 11.15 lbs at her 2 month appointment, which brings her up to the 50th percentile, yeah! She is actually sleeping through the night now, she goes to bed at around 11PM and is up just before 6AM for her feeding. Then she wants to party all day long :) Which is of course fine by me since it means she sleeps better at night. Though it is hard since I am trying to work from home and all.

She is happy now. She smiles and loves to be in her crib (even though she doesn't sleep in it) looking at her pretty new mobile. She loves to be out, especially the mall. She's already a fashionista! And she is so sweet. My cousin Allie thinks she is an old soul. And Norman? He is head over heels ga-ga over her. He is so overprotective, it's the sweetest thing ever. His love for her makes me love him more than ever - which I didn't think was possible since I have always loved him so much.

But I have never in my entire life known a love like this. It is so overwhelming. It is so all consuming. Sienna is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She has already taught me so much about myself. She has made me a stronger person, a better person. She is perfection. I look forward to every day with her.

She completes me.

Labor Story

Life has been a whirlwind! Nugget is doing great, Norm and I are exhausted because she honestly doesn't sleep. But we could not be happier. More about all of that later...I want to document the labor process before I forget. I am already losing my memory of it.

Here goes...

I hadn't been feeling very peachy for the few days leading up to my 39 week OB visit. It actually went beyond the bad contractions. I wasn't sleeping at all because of the belly pain and vaginal and rectal pressure and Norman was staying up with me all night since the beginning of July. He decided to begin his leave on July 2. My 39 week OB visit was on Thursday, July 3. Norman drove me over to the doctor early that morning and I was seeing fireflies - you know, those odd little lights you sometimes get in your line of sight when you are nauseated. Once we got there, I was weighed and peed in the cup as usual. When my BP was taken it was high, 150/90. My doctor checked my reflexes and they were a bit more jumpy than normal. My doctor told me that I had spilled protein in my urine, and that, combined with the elevated BP, hyper reflexes and fireflies, indicated preeclampsia. He called the hospital and notified them I would be heading over for induction and that if all progressed normally that he would come to the hospital and rupture my membranes at lunch time.

Oh.My.God.

I couldn't even believe it. Honestly.

I got my papers from the nurse and Norman and I were off. When we pulled into the hospital parking lot I started cry. I was so overwhelmed with emotion. I couldn't believe I would be meeting our daughter in a very short while.

We checked into the hospital and we were taken straight to a L&D room. As soon as I was connected to the monitors, Norman went home to pick up our bags and infant car seat. After my intake, I was hooked up to the IV and was given Penicillin for Group B Strep (I was told I was negative but turns out I was actually positive). I was then checked for dilation and was only 1CM and my cervix was posterior. The induction began at 11AM: Cytotec tablets were inserted and I was on bed rest for 2 hours while we waited for the medicine to start dilating me.

Norman got back at around 1PM and brought my mom with him. I was laying on my left side and Nugget's heartrate dropped to 80. Those L&D beds are so uncomfortable as it is, now I had to be on my right side only. I was so uncomfortable and panicked at this point, staring at the baby's heartrate monitor the rest of the night. My dad came a short while later. By this time, my contractions were about 5 minutes apart. My doctor came to check on me shortly thereafter and I was still only 1CM dilated. He couldn't break my water since I wasn't making progress. We all thought that since my cervix was very ripe my induction would progress rapidly. This was not the case. My doctor said he would come back at the end of the workday to check on me.

Things didn't start getting very painful until about 4PM. I was contracting strong and I was so uncomfortable. The nurse shift changed and my new nurse, Joanie, who was so awesome during the whole ordeal, told me that as soon as I needed pain medicine she would call the doctor. I love her so much I have to remember to send her flowers or something.

I was able to hold out on the pain meds until my doctor came back to see me at about 8PM. I was checked and again and was only TWO CM DILATED. Bad in terms of progress. If it wasn't for Joanie, my doctor would have performed a C-section at that time. She asked him to give me some more time to progress and he agreed. I got Nubain. It made me giggly and giddy and it helped a little bit. I still felt the contractions and I was in pain, moaning through the contractions. At some point I managed to doze off and when I woke up it was about 11PM. I was in so much pain at this point. I mean really bad contractions. What was going on? Turns out that while I was sleeping, Joanie started me on a Pitocin drip. Holy shit I was shocked at how intense the Pitocin made my contractions. Turns out the Pitocin causes much more intense contractions than natural contractions. At some point I started getting the shakes and they didn't stop until the day after I delivered. My dad left to get some sleep.

I got my epidural at about 2AM and managed to stop shaking long enough for the needle to go in my back. Joanie inserted a catheter shortly thereafter. I was given an oxygen mask and almost passed out because it was recycling my CO2 but we'll forgive Joanie for that lol. I couldn't sleep at all. I was afraid I would die. Literally. I felt so drowsy and my pressure was so low alarms were sounding. My doctor called and asked Joanie to check me for dilation. I wasn't even 3CM yet. I had been laboring for 15 hours at this point.

My doctor decided to perform the C-section right away. I couldn't believe I was haing a C-Section. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. I was prepped and Norman was given scrubs. My doctor was at the hospital in less than 45 minutes. My dad came back to be there for the birth. I was wheeled into the operating room and was shaking so much I thought I would roll off the table.

The surgery began and I heard them say "Dad's in the bathroom" and I remember thinking Norman is in the bathroom? I couldn't comprehend. Norman finally came in and sat by my head. He had a mask over his mouth and he was trying to talk to me and I couldn't hear. I was so pumped with morphine and drugs I actually passed out. I woke up when I heard the baby cry. I heard My doctor say Nugget's Apgar was a 9. I was struggling to keep my eyes open. Norman came to me to show me the baby's feet prints. Then they finally brought me my Nugget and she was crying and so beautiful and when they put her near my head I told her I loved her and kissed her and she stopped crying briefly. My heart just melted and my adrenaline kicked in and I was DESPERATE to get off the table to hold my baby. Everyone in the OR said she was the cutest baby ever. It seemed to take forever for them to be finished with me. The tugging and pulling was an odd sensation. Norman had gone with the baby to the nursery. I was finally wheeled to triage and Norman came to me to say the baby was perfect and adorable and ready to eat. He went off to take my parents to the nursery and I waited for them to bring the baby to me. They finally did and it was so surreal. Sienna is AMAZING. So beautiful and perfect and lovely and delicate and tiny. She latched on to my breast right away and ate like a pro. They took her back to the nursery and I told Norman to follow her so I stayed in triage alone drifting in and out of sleep. Norman came back to tell me my parents were going home for a shower and breakfast and would be back later.

After what seemed like forever, I was wheeled to my recovery room which is where we stayed for the next 3 days. Joanie situated me and they finally brought Nugget to us. She had her first bowel movement shortly thereafter and Norman was a champ and a natural. My C-Section was unplanned and I was so emotional because honestly I wanted to get up and help change her diaper and carry her but I couldn't. It was hard to adjust to the idea that Norman had to not only take care of me but also the baby. I felt helpless. But the baby was born at 3:33AM on the 4th and I was up and walking by 6PM that same evening. My recovery, albeit painful, was thankfully very smooth and wonderful thanks to Norman, my parents and the AMAZING nurses at the hospital.

I celebrated my birthday at the hospital on Saturday.

Nugget is the most perfect gift I have ever received.

Welcome Sienna Sofia!

Our Nugget arrived on July 4 at 3:33AM.

She weighed 6lbs 9oz, 18 in.



We are so in love.

38w5d

9 days to go until I am officially due. I can’t even believe it. I just want to burst out crying I am so overwhelmed with emotion.

Last night was beyond awful. I was having the worst contractions, lower back pain, upper thigh pain, cervical pain, anal pain, every pain you can imagine. I didn’t time them but when I would get up out of bed they would actually ease up so I knew it was false labor. That or the baby dropping even lower, I’m just not sure. All I know is that I felt like I could have died. Sitting on the toilet gave me some relief, but if I actually tried to pee or have a bowel movement I felt like I would pass out. The baby was active the entire time, pressing down on my cervix for good measure. And I was just trying to sleep through it. I was so exhausted and worn out by the time things had settled down that I couldn’t even get out of bed for a Tylenol. I imagine I am dilating. I better be. I also imagine this is what labor pains will feel like. If it happens again tonight I may start timing the contractions just to get a feel for how far apart they are. I may even wake Norman up. I could have used some serious counter pressure on my back last night. The pain was atrocious. I just feel bad because he still has to go to work every day and besides, I need him rested for when real labor begins.

I am going to take it easy today because last night while in the shower before bed I worked myself into a frenzied state and started cleaning the tub on all fours. When Norman saw me he started cracking up and so did I – it must have been quite the sight. I wanted to take the shower doors down but he refused to help me because it was so late already. I was in there for an entire hour just scrubbing away. Talk about wacky. I just had that sudden burst of energy I’ve read so much about. I could have gone on all night. I wanted to clean the floors too but Norman wanted to go to bed and needed the bathroom so I quit.

I see my doctor Thursday. As you can imagine I am already dreading tonight. Everything always happens to me at night! I called Norman this morning and told him about last night a little while ago. I told him if it happened again I want to go to L&D. He said they’d likely just send me home and he’s probably right. Ugh!

So we continue waiting…

38w4d

Yes, I'm pregnant.

I'm due in 10 days.

It's a girl.

Her name is Sienna.

No, not Diana, SI-EN-NA.

Yes, that is a pretty name.

Yes, it's our first.

YES, WE'RE VERY HAPPY.

Why can't strangers just congratulate me and be on their merry ways? I am so over telling strangers how happy I am or how anxious and excited I am. I mean honestly, strangers. Leave me alone!

I can't sleep. I've been up for a while now with insomnia. It's a combination of discomfort and hunger and discomfort and anxiety and discomfort and hot flashes. I ate a granola bar and am trying to digest it before attempting to get into bed again. Thankfully I am working from home (have been since the L&D incident last Monday - have I mentioned that yet?) so at least I can nap briefly during the day or sleep in a bit if I need to.

My contractions last night were bad to the point where I actually started getting nervous, like O-M-G I could have this baby at any time and what if it's now? I started fearing labor and getting all irrational. This after having prided myself so much on the fact that I have been able to maintain my cool throughout the entire process. Obviously, no baby yet :) But I am calm again and will remain calm during the next scare.

I suppose that's it for now. I am still hungry. Maybe I'll eat some more.

I LOVE YOU, NUGGET!

38w3d

Still pregnant...

I am so uncomfortable now. I am not sleeping well at all. The cervical pain is intense and my contractions are bad. Just not bad enough. And not regular enough to be labor. I want her to come when she's ready, of course. But I guess now that I am almost at the end of the road, I am desperately wanting to meet her. I think I will be in a complete state of shock once labor actually begins - be it my water breaking or regular contractions. I am beginning to think that if it were up to her she'd stay inside until she was 18 years old...and who can blame her?? She's comfy! I am also convinced that nothing will naturally induce labor unless she is ready to come out. Not walking, or sex or squats or spicy food lol

My mom says she'll be here before or on my birthday. My dad says she'll come after. Norman doesn't really have an opinion.

I think she'll come when she is coaxed out.

EIther way though, Norman and I will be parents in no more than 11 days! We're almost into single digits!

38w1d

Happy 5 Year Anniversary to Norm and me!

My OB appointment today was unfortunately very uneventful. I got an internal exam and was given the news that there have been no change since Monday's L&D exam.

However, the baby did drop, my Doctor said she was definitely lower. I should have asked the baby's station but I forgot.

He said "She's getting ready for take off" lol

I also passed my Group B Strep swab, yaaayyyy. One less thing to worry about.

I could have sworn I would have been more dilated at this point, especially after the terrible night I had last night. The menstrual camp-like pain I was having along with the contractions woke me up at 3AM and kept me up for over an hour. But no luck.

Soooooo, I made my next appointment for Thursday, July 3 (since Friday is a holiday).

I am frustrated and want her to come already!

Fingers crossed that my Nugget arrives before my July 3rd appointment!

38w0d

THIRTY EIGHT WEEKS TODAY!!

I am officially considered FULL TERM!

Here are 2 belly pictures, one from 36w5d:



And one from yesterday, 37w6d (yesterday):



As you can see, I am exhausted. I am really feeling the weight of my belly.

I don't think I have mentioned that after last Monday's L&D incident, I decided to start working from home...I really don't want to go into labor at the office.

Not much to report on otherwise.

I am definitely having an increase of discharge as well as continued contractions, pelvic pressure and especially intense menstrual cramp pains. I have been walking and trying to see if hopefully Nugget cooperates and comes out within the week.

I have my OB appointment tomorrow morning and am desperately hoping for another internal exam in order to track my progress. I am guessing we’ll schedule an induction date, too.

My birthday is coming up on July 5. I wonder if she’ll be here before or after that day?!!

37w5d

I don’t even know where to begin this post! Life has been very interesting these days.

I suppose I’ll start with last Friday’s OB appointment – everything was well. I had my first internal exam and got the great news that my cervix is 100% effaced. So ripe in fact that my Doctor asked if I had my hospital bag packed. He said we’d set an induction date if I haven’t gone into labor by next Friday (OMGGGG).

I had been having contractions already but they have gotten bad since Friday. I spent all weekend with the worst pains. I knew they were irregular but that doesn’t mean labor isn’t rapidly approaching. Yesterday I felt bad enough that I called my Doctor and he sent me L&D for a checkup. I went and had a NST done – Nugget is active and well, and my contractions are real but irregular. I had another internal exam (good GOD it was the most painful internal exam I have ever had), but the good news is that I had dilated 1cm since Friday! So the contractions are working! The L&D nurse said my cervix is VERY ripe and thin and short. She says it’s rare for first time moms but that I am lucky because I will likely be in labor within a week assuming I continue dilating and labor should be quick once it begins due to how ripe my cervix is. Yesterday the baby still hadn’t dropped into my pelvis but she said it’ll happen very soon. Obviously none of this is scientific fact; we all know how it goes. Labor is a crap shoot! But it was good to hear nonetheless.

The nurse said to start having sex. I am honestly not in the mood for sex. I know for a fact poor Norman isn’t either. But she said that besides the sperm bringing on natural contractions and speeding up dilation, that sex stretches the perineum and can avoid unnecessary tearing/cutting. So we’ll give it a go today lol

Last night was a heinous night for me. I KNOW Nugget dropped last night. I was in excruciating pain. My pelvis and lower back were on fire, not to mention the RLP I have been having. It's worse than ever. Anyhow, I knew what was happening but couldn’t believe that just about 12 hours earlier the L&D nurse had predicted this. I could feel the difference right away. My belly is a lot lower and I can no longer use it as a shelf (I used to jokingly set my water bottle on it for shits and giggles). I don’t know just how low she is but I am guessing my Doctor will tell me on Friday.

So this is where we stand!

We are ready for Nugget to arrive. We installed the car seat and I am packed and ready to go.

So now we wait…

36w6d

I was just surprised with a Baby Shower here at work!!! I was in total shock. There was food, friends, cake and a great time was had by all! Honestly, I have the best boss and co-workers a girl could ask for.

My grandmother is out of the hospital and back in the ALF. She is doing SO MUCH BETTER. I can’t believe it. Honestly. I went to the hospital on Sunday and was sad to see she wasn’t doing very well, still disoriented and not able to sleep. Today I had a 15 minute conversation with her over the phone! She was asking me about the baby, about Ace, about work, about everything. I wanted to cry. I am so thankful. I can’t wait to go see her.

Our life-long friends from Spain arrived last Saturday and they have been staying with us. I didn’t realize how much I had missed them! Elena is 28 years old so we have everything in common (except for her not being pregnant and all). I am so glad she is here. Her parents are here too and it is wonderful to see them all! Norman and I were supposed to go to Spain this summer because Elena is getting married on August 2, but obviously with our precious Nugget arriving that didn’t exactly pan out. But we are beginning to plan a trip to Spain for Christmas 2009 with my parents and my brother and his family. Sienna and Ace will be about a year and a half by then. Amazing.

As you can imagine I have been doing non-stop shopping with them and lots of eating out and sightseeing and WALKING. I have been so active this week. It’s great. Hopefully it’s moving things along down there. I’ll know more on Friday; I have my 37 week appointment.

I have been having a ton of contractions lately. They have been getting stronger and stronger, bordering painful. Nothing too painful and nothing regular, but definite contractions. I think they are bordering on false labor. I wonder if my water will beak soon? Will I loose my plug? How will I go into labor? All I do know is that I am ready. All we have left to do is install the car seat and we are golden.

And as far as what people say about babies’ movements slowing down towards the end of pregnancy – well not my Nugget. She is non-stop kicking, punching, elbowing, the works. You name it she does it and she doesn’t care at all that she is out of room. Which make for painful situations! I love it though I have to admit. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

36w1d

Just a quick update to say my grandmother is in the hospital but doing SO much better. One pill she was taking caused her blood levels to be wacky and apparently now she is doing better. She is now speaking coherently and you can understand everything she is saying. I haven't gone to the hospital - my mom is forbidding me. She says my abuela should be back at the ALF by Monday and I will go visit her then.

Thank you all for your thoughts and well wishes. I love you!

Here is a picture Norm and I just took now...I got back from getting my hair cut yaaayyyy. Though it sucks how fat I look, boooo. Those 30-some odd pounds I have gained are UNFORGIVING



A proper update to follow soon

36w0d

I am really down to the wire at this point and am more giddy and anxious than anything else. You know the feeling…it’s similar to counting down the weeks before a long awaited vacation or big event. I feel so overwhelmed and impatient. I want Nugget to be here now now now, happy and healthy.

Emotionally I am a wreck. My grandmother is very ill and I am crying almost every day. My mom had to place her in an Assisted Living Facility 2 weeks ago because she was in serious need of help with day to day activities. The deterioration she has experienced in these past 2 weeks has been mind blowing. She has Alzheimer’s so severe that it’s a wonder it has only recently been diagnosed. Any fool with access to the internet could tell me that she’s had mild Alzheimer’s for years now. I find it so ridiculous that her doctor never officially diagnosed her, despite my mother continually questioning whether she could have the disease or not.

Last Saturday, Norman and I went to visit her while my parents were out of town with my brother and his new baby and I freaked out when I saw her. I started to cry uncontrollably and got pains in my belly. I had never seen her look so terrible before. I said I though she was dying. I called my mom from the ALF house and told her. She said she knew how bad it was. I had no idea. She got bad so quickly. I visit her on Saturdays and the week before she was so much better. She is now to the point of being unrecognizable.

I had nightmares all last Saturday night and have been so distraught. I was supposed to visit her yesterday so that my mom could have the day off but they called her and told her she was so bad they were considering taking her to the hospital. My mom left work and visited her and thinks she is dying. She needs hospice. This is so awful. I just want to crawl into a hole and wither away. My mother is beside herself.

The thought of death and mortality overwhelms me. I want my grandmother to meet Sienna so desperately. I know she likely won’t even recognize her as her great granddaughter but I don’t care. I need her to hold on. She was always telling me how all she was doing was praying to God that he would give her life to meet her great grandchildren. Now she can’t walk or feed herself, much less form coherent words. Worst of all, I find myself staying away because I am too weak and afraid and get so affected when I see her this way and I feel so guilty about it.

So that’s what’s going on. I am still working every day and exhaustion settles in quickly. Last night I took a long nap when I got home from work. I bet I could have slept straight through the night if I let myself.

I am buying the last few things I need for my hospital bag this afternoon. Other than that I am pretty much set I think. My mind is mushy now.

35w5d

I had a scary hypoglycemic incident this afternoon before lunch. At first I thought it was a drop in blood pressure but after I called my OB and spoke to the nurse she confirmed it was hypoglycemia.

I started to feel really clammy; I felt a cold sweat. I immediately got dizzy and felt my heart rate speed up. My hands were shaking and I realized that I didn’t have the strength in my legs to stand up. I thought I would pass out and started to worry but not too much since I could feel Nugget squirming and kicking and punching. As long as I know she’s OK nothing can be that bad.

Anyhow, I reached for the candy dish I have on my desk here at work and shoved 3 jolly ranchers in my mouth all at once. I started to feel a tiny bit better. I finished the water in my water bottle and realized I could now likely stand up and walk. So that’s what I did. I got more water, ate a bunch more candy, used the bathroom and headed out to meet Norman for lunch (he picked me up). I started to feel so much better after all that candy and water. I ate a salad for lunch and some chips and guacamole. YUM. But I was a bottomless pit. When I got back from lunch – now feeling 100% better – I went to the vending machine and bought a Snickers Bar and Reeses Pieces (fruit would have done the trick but I didn’t have any on me). I swallowed them both practically without chewing. I am still not full if you can believe it. I mean, I’m not hungry, but I’m not full either. Goes to show you how starved I was.

So this is when I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She suggested (read: panicked and urgently pleaded) for me to call the doctor. So I did. And my wonderful nurse Lisa asked what I had eaten…a bowl of cereal at 7AM. OK, and what else…ummmm nothing. OK. REBECA YOU HAVE TO EAT. I was like I know I know I know – and the truth of the matter is that I normally do, I graze all day long. But today I got caught up at work and I just forgot.

As soon as I get home I am going to pack a large bag of fruit, belly bars and snacks to keep at my desk.

No more scares!

35w4d

Introducing Ace Carter, my beautiful nephew!

Mom, Dad and Ace


Ace


Dad and Ace


My Brother, the Proud Daddy and Ace

35w1d

I am having trouble uploading Baby Shower pictures so I will upload belly pics instead.

They go back to 16w2d up to today.

16w2d


21w0d


25w0d


30w0d


35w1d



I went to my OB appointment today and all is well. Nugget's heart rate was 146 and she is measuring 1 week ahead based on fundal height. NO WEIGHT GAIN wooooohoooo!

Another development is that due to my pre-existing medical condition and the baby's size, I will be induced at 39 weeks. I will have the exact date two weeks from now. I will also have my internal exam 2 weeks from now.

This means 4 weeks left before Sienna Sofia enters the world.

We are so excited!

35w0d

Wow. Well here I am at 35 weeks; our beautiful baby girl will be here in 5 weeks! I feel immensely pregnant and incredibly blessed.

And my nephew, Ace Carter, arrived this morning at 8:44AM, weighing 7.5 lbs, measuring 20.5 inches!! Both mom and baby are great and my brother is beyond thrilled!!! I cannot wait to meet him. I really wish I could have been there. I am anxiously awaiting photos and more news!

Last night I had the worst allergies. I had a rough time sleeping and now this morning I am having a hard time breathing. Nugget is likely compressing my lungs and the fact that I can’t breathe through my nose really doesn’t help! I feel completely breathless.

I have my OB appointment tomorrow and I believe I will be visiting him weekly going forward. I’m not sure when my internal exam will be – likely at 36 or 37 weeks. I will ask tomorrow.

We went to visit with the Pediatrician and I absolutely loved her. She addressed all of my concerns about vaccines and cord blood registry very thoroughly. She was so kind and genuine and patient. I think she’s perfect. I felt relieved. One item successfully checked off the to-do list!

I have all my baby shower photos on my computer at home and will be posting them this evening, so stay tuned!